Yesterday (Saturday) the babies celebrated their first week in our world. Time flew by and it is scary to think that this is how week after week after week is going to pass by. We have been SO busy, I never thought that is going to be like that. On Sunday, only a day after my surgery, I started walking and making trips to the bathroom. The pain wasn’t horrible, or the pain killers were doing their job really well. The doctor told me that in order for me to go and see my babies, I have to let go of my epidural (I still had it in my back and every time my pain was bad, I would push a button and get more medicine in there) and just relay on pills. Of course I agreed immediately, I wanted to see my quads more than anything else, so I didn’t care about the pain. But, as I said, I managed it pretty well. They moved me back into my room on the High Risk Pregnancy floor and I was happy to see my favorite nurses again. I felt at home there. Moving around wasn’t easy at first, I needed a lot of help. Especially because I started pumping that afternoon and so every 3 hours I had to get everything ready, pump and then wash all the pump pieces. Thank God my hubby was there with me and he did everything in his power to make things easier for me. I think it was the hardest week ever for us. The exhaustion kicked in at some point and we had to change things a little because we were not getting enough sleep, we were constantly stressing ourselves about everything… I guess that’s part of being a parent.
Sunday night I got to visit my babies. I finally got to shower and change, I was very nervous and excited to visit the NICU for the first time. Oly got me a wheel chair and off we went. Isaac was in room A, Hannah in B and Alexis and Andrew in F. Apparently there were so many babies in the NICU that Saturday so they had to split up the Lupei Team. We visited Isaac first and it was a little bit of a bad timing because one of the nurses was changing the tube from his CPAP and of course he didn’t like to be bothered and so he was very fussy, he cried and he was very unhappy. That was too much for me. It was the first time I saw my baby after I peeked at him for a second in the OR and now I get to officially meet him and he is so upset, he has all these wires connected to him, the oxygen tube and many machines around him… it just looked scary to me and made me very, very, very sad. So tears started running down my face, I just couldn’t stop crying. I wanted to stop and just be strong, I knew my babies had to be there, there were premature, they still needed time to grow and develop but it was too hard for me to see the good side in that moment. The only thing I wanted to do was to take Isaac out and hold him, and protect him. Just like any other mom, right? You really want to hold your baby and care for him, hug him and kiss him. Oh, I was very sad. At that time I thought I won’t be able to go through all this. Finally I calmed down and we went to see the others. Honestly I don’t even remember much, I know I got to see all my babies but I was still so worried about the whole situation. Even though all the nurses told us that the babies are doing very good and for 29 weekers, they look amazing. I wasn’t happy… At some point I told Oly that we had to go back to my room, I just wanted to cry…that’s all. That night I cried myself to sleep and I prayed so hard. I felt the weakest person on this planet! There was this huge valley in front of us and I had zero power to go through this. Oly tried to encourage me and everything he said was right, but my heart just wouldn’t let go. I wanted my babies with me, to keep them safe.
I woke up the next day feeling a little better. Still, in my mind, the NICU was this ugly place where they made my Isaac cry the first time I saw him, so no good feelings about it. I was nervous to go back there. But I had to overcome my fears and check it out again. This time was way better. I got to ask anything I wanted about all the machines and everything that was in there. I calmed down more and more and the NICU wasn’t that bad after all. This week I’ve learn my way around there, I’ve learn a lot of things about the babies. I got to hold each baby (which made me the happiest person ever), change diapers, help with little thing that mean so much to me. Daddy is doing a great job, everyone is so impressed how involved he is with everything and I am so proud of him. We shared some awesome experiences this week and he taught me a bunch of things. He spend a lot more time in the NICU than me, because by the time I went there for the first time, he had already spent a bunch of time there. And the first days he got to go more often than me, it was still hard for me to walk and move around as I would have liked it. So he made me feel comfortable around all the machines and this new environment. I will talk about this more but I just want to say that my hubby has been by my side every step of the way throughout this pregnancy, in the operation room and now after the surgery. He saw everything from start to finish and it wasn’t just a regular C-section. He wouldn’t even tell me everything that he saw… Everyone was impressed of how well he managed to handle everything and I could not have done anything without him. God put us together and He knew we needed each other.
The babies did very good from the beginning. All the wires, that scared me in at first, were meant to always let us know their heart rates, temperature, breathing level and things like that. Andrew came off the CPAP (those big tubes that covers their faces) in the next few days and so he is the easiest to be held, he can just rest his head on our skin and he feels really comfortable. We can’t wait for his siblings to be off the CPAP too. They increased their milk dose and everyone did very well so they will continue to increase their feeds every 24h. The light therapy was great for them, they all went under this blue light for a while and it helped a lot with the color of their skin. They look so good, pink little munckins 🙂 Every day we can see improvement, they are stronger and just better looking.
On Wednesday I got discharged from the Hospital, not a happy day at all. I didn’t want to leave. My babies stayed so how could I go home? I was sad once again, but I’ve learn that in this journey there will be lots of ups and downs. God is giving me the strength to keep going, He is the one taking care of our babies every second of their life so I will trust in Him. Even though I am sad to leave them every night when we have to come home, I know the next day we’ll be back to be with them. Time flies when we are there. I don’t know how that is possible. But the time goes by so fast and this is how this week has been. Things will change a little bit, since Daddy is going back to work on Monday. We are all dreading that, we’re so used to being together, this change will be hard on everyone. He will miss us and especially the babies and we will definitely miss him. But our plan is for him to come and visit the babies every day after work.
Later this week, Hannah’s incubator was moved in the same room with Isaac. We are so happy about that. Now they are roommates just like Alexis and Andrew! Love it!
The NICU ended up being a great place. The nurses are very special and they care for our babies like they are their own. I will be spending a lot of time here for the next few weeks and I feel comfortable now. We are happy that all our babies are doing good, that’s the most important thing. We got to bring some laundry home, they have some special sheets that go inside their incubators, so we were excited even about that. The first load of laundry for our quads 🙂 I know there will be tons more and I can’t wait.
We’ve learn to appreciate every single day as a gift from above. Our precious babies mean everything to us. It is unbelievable how much we’ve changed and all these amazing feelings that we have. We think of them all the time, we are in love with our little angels. God has been so good to us and we feel abundantly blessed. It’s such a wonderful feeling, I can’t even describe it. Here are some pictures from the first week of our Quads!
This has been our first week, busy but fun. A new beginning for us, as parents of Quads. We are happy and super excited. We know these babies are our miracles and we thank God for them all the time.
What a great post and even better pictures! You’re doing awesome and all those emotions are normal for what you’re going through. I had a hard time the first couple days connecting the facts that I’d had four babies and almost wishing they were back in my stomach where I could keep them safe than in the NICU. But, like you, I soon came to love the nurses there that took such great care of my quads and that helped me learn about everything I needed to know. You’ll be glad to finally leave the NICU but until then it’ll become your home away from home! Those babies are in the best place possible 🙂 I know what you mean about being excited over just laundry, we were the same! You’ll go through more ups and downs in “Phase 2”, while they’re in the NICU. Some days you’ll be so tired you don’t think you can keep doing this, and some days you’ll be so strong for those wee babies you’ll be dying to get them all home. Hang in there and keep taking care of yourself!!! xoxo
It was a hard week but we are closer and closer in getting the babies home. I just didn’t know what to expect from the NICU and I am glad I got to “rediscover” it after my first not so good experience. It’s like you read my mind when you said you wished your babies were back into your belly!! That’s exactly what I wished the first few days! Thank you for taking time to read my blog and for all the advices. Many times I have to think about the quad mommas just so I can get my act together and keep on going!
Thanks for update and pictures! Y’all will be/ are great parents. Stay strong even tho right after birth it’s common to be quite emotiona
Can’t wait to see babies in person when your lives ca down a bit. Thinking good things for you, Gigi
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Thanks Gigi! We can’t wait to get to that stage, to have visitors over and just show off our cute babies 🙂
Lori, I had tears in my eyes when I read your post! I’ll pray that God will give you and Oti A LOOOTTT of strength and peace! He is definitely the One who carries us and helps us overcome every situation! As for your little angels, they are soooo cute!
Take care and have a very blessed week with your little ones!
Flavia draga, ma bucur ca urmaresti blogul nostru. I actually had tears in my eyes while I was writing the post. Urcusuri si coborasuri dar stim ca Dzeu e in control si doar El ne ajuta sa mergem mai departe. Suntem incantati de bebeii nostri si nu ne vine sa credem ca sunt minunile noastre! va imbratisam pe toti! te voi cauta pe facebook, mi-e dor sa va vad!
Lori, you and the whole family is just gorgeous. I’m so happy Olyvis there for you. This week will probably be a difficult one with him at work, but you’ll get to know your way around the NICU and finding a new normal. NICU nurses are special people who will help your babies grow, and they will help you learn everything. I used to bring ours warm cookies from the cafeteria to show our appreciation. We still keep in touch with several of our nurses even a year later. As Amber said, with phase two, there will be ups and downs, but just like the pregnancy try to stay positive and seek support when you need it. Hugs! Amber
Amber, I can’t believe how time flew by! I remember our first emails when you were telling me little bits about what is yet to come and I thought it was still far away. And here we are, looking at our little angels. We are so happy and we want to thank you again for being there for us all the time! One day at the time!!
Your little ones are so beautiful Lori. It won’t be long and you will be able to see them each day with nothing on their face but a small feeding tube. Some days it will seem like you will never get out of the nicu but before you know it you will be getting the call to come in and bring home a baby or two. The babies are were they need to be and we all get that but after trying so hard to get them into the world safely all we want to do is bring them home. The first week is so hard and you have past it already. I have a feeling Oly going back to work will be harder for him than you because your days will fly by with diaper changes, pumping and in a couple weeks bottle feeding. Take lots of pictures because they grow so quickly.
I cannot wait until all those ugly tubes come off their faces! I am glad the first week passed and I hope the remaining once are going to be better.The worst part is when we get ready to go home and we don’t take any of them, that breaks my heart.