Yesterday (Saturday) the babies celebrated their first week in our world. Time flew by and it is scary to think that this is how week after week after week is going to pass by. We have been SO busy, I never thought that is going to be like that. On Sunday, only a day after my surgery, I started walking and making trips to the bathroom. The pain wasn’t horrible, or the pain killers were doing their job really well. The doctor told me that in order for me to go and see my babies, I have to let go of my epidural (I still had it in my back and every time my pain was bad, I would push a button and get more medicine in there) and just relay on pills. Of course I agreed immediately, I wanted to see my quads more than anything else, so I didn’t care about the pain. But, as I said, I managed it pretty well. They moved me back into my room on the High Risk Pregnancy floor and I was happy to see my favorite nurses again. I felt at home there. Moving around wasn’t easy at first, I needed a lot of help. Especially because I started pumping that afternoon and so every 3 hours I had to get everything ready, pump and then wash all the pump pieces. Thank God my hubby was there with me and he did everything in his power to make things easier for me. I think it was the hardest week ever for us. The exhaustion kicked in at some point and we had to change things a little because we were not getting enough sleep, we were constantly stressing ourselves about everything… I guess that’s part of being a parent.
Sunday night I got to visit my babies. I finally got to shower and change, I was very nervous and excited to visit the NICU for the first time. Oly got me a wheel chair and off we went. Isaac was in room A, Hannah in B and Alexis and Andrew in F. Apparently there were so many babies in the NICU that Saturday so they had to split up the Lupei Team. We visited Isaac first and it was a little bit of a bad timing because one of the nurses was changing the tube from his CPAP and of course he didn’t like to be bothered and so he was very fussy, he cried and he was very unhappy. That was too much for me. It was the first time I saw my baby after I peeked at him for a second in the OR and now I get to officially meet him and he is so upset, he has all these wires connected to him, the oxygen tube and many machines around him… it just looked scary to me and made me very, very, very sad. So tears started running down my face, I just couldn’t stop crying. I wanted to stop and just be strong, I knew my babies had to be there, there were premature, they still needed time to grow and develop but it was too hard for me to see the good side in that moment. The only thing I wanted to do was to take Isaac out and hold him, and protect him. Just like any other mom, right? You really want to hold your baby and care for him, hug him and kiss him. Oh, I was very sad. At that time I thought I won’t be able to go through all this. Finally I calmed down and we went to see the others. Honestly I don’t even remember much, I know I got to see all my babies but I was still so worried about the whole situation. Even though all the nurses told us that the babies are doing very good and for 29 weekers, they look amazing. I wasn’t happy… At some point I told Oly that we had to go back to my room, I just wanted to cry…that’s all. That night I cried myself to sleep and I prayed so hard. I felt the weakest person on this planet! There was this huge valley in front of us and I had zero power to go through this. Oly tried to encourage me and everything he said was right, but my heart just wouldn’t let go. I wanted my babies with me, to keep them safe.
I woke up the next day feeling a little better. Still, in my mind, the NICU was this ugly place where they made my Isaac cry the first time I saw him, so no good feelings about it. I was nervous to go back there. But I had to overcome my fears and check it out again. This time was way better. I got to ask anything I wanted about all the machines and everything that was in there. I calmed down more and more and the NICU wasn’t that bad after all. This week I’ve learn my way around there, I’ve learn a lot of things about the babies. I got to hold each baby (which made me the happiest person ever), change diapers, help with little thing that mean so much to me. Daddy is doing a great job, everyone is so impressed how involved he is with everything and I am so proud of him. We shared some awesome experiences this week and he taught me a bunch of things. He spend a lot more time in the NICU than me, because by the time I went there for the first time, he had already spent a bunch of time there. And the first days he got to go more often than me, it was still hard for me to walk and move around as I would have liked it. So he made me feel comfortable around all the machines and this new environment. I will talk about this more but I just want to say that my hubby has been by my side every step of the way throughout this pregnancy, in the operation room and now after the surgery. He saw everything from start to finish and it wasn’t just a regular C-section. He wouldn’t even tell me everything that he saw… Everyone was impressed of how well he managed to handle everything and I could not have done anything without him. God put us together and He knew we needed each other.
The babies did very good from the beginning. All the wires, that scared me in at first, were meant to always let us know their heart rates, temperature, breathing level and things like that. Andrew came off the CPAP (those big tubes that covers their faces) in the next few days and so he is the easiest to be held, he can just rest his head on our skin and he feels really comfortable. We can’t wait for his siblings to be off the CPAP too. They increased their milk dose and everyone did very well so they will continue to increase their feeds every 24h. The light therapy was great for them, they all went under this blue light for a while and it helped a lot with the color of their skin. They look so good, pink little munckins 🙂 Every day we can see improvement, they are stronger and just better looking.
On Wednesday I got discharged from the Hospital, not a happy day at all. I didn’t want to leave. My babies stayed so how could I go home? I was sad once again, but I’ve learn that in this journey there will be lots of ups and downs. God is giving me the strength to keep going, He is the one taking care of our babies every second of their life so I will trust in Him. Even though I am sad to leave them every night when we have to come home, I know the next day we’ll be back to be with them. Time flies when we are there. I don’t know how that is possible. But the time goes by so fast and this is how this week has been. Things will change a little bit, since Daddy is going back to work on Monday. We are all dreading that, we’re so used to being together, this change will be hard on everyone. He will miss us and especially the babies and we will definitely miss him. But our plan is for him to come and visit the babies every day after work.
Later this week, Hannah’s incubator was moved in the same room with Isaac. We are so happy about that. Now they are roommates just like Alexis and Andrew! Love it!
The NICU ended up being a great place. The nurses are very special and they care for our babies like they are their own. I will be spending a lot of time here for the next few weeks and I feel comfortable now. We are happy that all our babies are doing good, that’s the most important thing. We got to bring some laundry home, they have some special sheets that go inside their incubators, so we were excited even about that. The first load of laundry for our quads 🙂 I know there will be tons more and I can’t wait.
We’ve learn to appreciate every single day as a gift from above. Our precious babies mean everything to us. It is unbelievable how much we’ve changed and all these amazing feelings that we have. We think of them all the time, we are in love with our little angels. God has been so good to us and we feel abundantly blessed. It’s such a wonderful feeling, I can’t even describe it. Here are some pictures from the first week of our Quads!
This has been our first week, busy but fun. A new beginning for us, as parents of Quads. We are happy and super excited. We know these babies are our miracles and we thank God for them all the time.